When mommy has to work...

I've written on this topic before, but right now it is weighing heavily on my heart and when I write, I feel better about situations.

This is for the full time working moms, only because I can't honestly write about work at home or stay at home moms, as I've never experienced it.

I can't tell you the amount of dread and anxiety I feel for Monday. Monday is Nunu's first FULL day back at his daymom. She is amazing, so that is not where my fears lie. My mom is also a great help and fetches him early when she can.

The reason I am feeling positively sick about returning to work is that I feel like I have really gotten to know this little person. I have spent these 5 glorious weeks of holidays doting on him and getting to know his developing personality. I've gotten to feed him all of his meals, put him down for his naps and - the best - witness him standing alone for the first time! As a working mom, I have been robbed of so many firsts. The most upsetting being the first time he crawled. And I am probably going to miss his first steps too.

He's grown so much this holiday. I've learnt that he has a great sense of humour. How he loves tomato and pukes at the sight of avocado pear. How he likes to nap with no blanket and snuggles with me when I rock him to sleep. How he can now play a little game of soccer by himself and manages to climb our stairs. How he loves to rip out my eyelash extensions and rub my face when he feels tired. 

I have to work. Financially I have to, but also because I love being a teacher. I am one of the lucky ones. 

Monday fills me with trepidation and I am sobbing at the thought of leaving him for the whole day. I know he will be fine and I know I will be too, but it is so hard having to leave this little person in the mornings. Hopefully the day will fly by!