It is hard to believe that a whole year has passed and you are one! How are you one years old? How has a whole year passed? How has my little preemie become such an independent little toddler?
You amaze me daily. You have a love for life, you are strong and courageous. The day you were born, I was not ready at all. But which parent is ever really ready?
I woke up on Tuesday 25 October 2016 to a wet bed. I had had a difficult pregnancy and thought that perhaps a leaky bladder was just another ailment to add to the list. However, when I stood up, the water did not stop! Panicked, I messaged my mom to ask her what it looked like when your water breaks. Thankfully, my husband had not yet left for work, as my mom suspected that my water had indeed broken. At 33 weeks pregnant, this was worrying.
We laughed and joked on the way to the hospital... little did we know that we would be parents by noon that day. When I arrived at the hospital, the maternity ward nurses hooked me up to a machine and, at that stage, did not think I was in labour.
Quite suddenly the contractions were close together and I was in an enormous amount of pain. I begged for the drugs and used every swear word I knew. They couldn't give me anything more as the baby was distressed.
My gynaecologist arrived and confirmed that I was dilated 7cm. Everything happened very quickly after that. I was moved to the labour ward. Poor Hubby had to admit me and had to fill out a lengthy questionnaire- like if I had any heart conditions, allergies, previous ops, etc. The language I spewed back at him would have made any sailor proud.
It was decided that I would have a C-section. I remember my legs being stuffed into compression socks and being wheeled into the operating theatre. Grappled in pain, I can't even remember the needle going in for the anaesthetic. I just remember the glorious feeling as it spread through my body and the intense contractions subsided. Suddenly, for the first time, I could actually comprehend what was happening as everything had esculated so quickly. I was scared. I had never ever had surgery or personally been admitted into hospital before. I called for my hubby... only to be told by the doctor that he was lying down as he was feeling faint (LOL). I guess I wasn't the only one feeling overwhelmed! After everything was set up, including the screen, Hubby came to sit by my head and held my hand. I can honestly say I didn't feel a thing. I can also honestly say it was the most surreal moment of my life. One moment it was just me - concerned only about myself. Worried only about my needs. Suddenly, with a final tug and a little cry, there was a tiny human in my life who I would have to look after forever.
Because Nunu Bug was prem, I wasn't allowed to hold him. The paediatrician held him in front of me and I kissed his little cheek. I was shocked at how purple he was. Nunu had low oxygen levels and was hooked up to a machine. He also had an IV and feeding tube inserted.
That was the last time I saw my Nunu Bug for the day. I was taken to my maternity ward and I stayed there until the next morning. Birth is quite literally the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced. I lay there in pain, scared as my baby was in NICU, scared because I had just had serious surgery and scared because I didn't know what to expect. The next thing I had a lactation consultant in the room, asking to squeeze out the colostrum to feed Nunu through his feeding tube! I had a whole myriad of other specialists see me that day. How true that when you give birth you leave your dignity at the door...
And now, one year later, here we are. How funny how quickly you forget about the events of the day and only focus on this special little person in your life.
How lucky I am to be your mom. Happy first birthday, Nunu Bug.