Foolproof methods of getting your baby to sleep through the night

Oh wait. If you were hoping for tips, you've come to the wrong place. My baby most definitely doesn't sleep through the night, if he did I wouldn't be up typing this blog entry at 3am in the morning. 

You're not feeding him enough during the day. You need to up his calorie intake.

This kid inhales food. If he doesn't get his food promptly, the tantrum that proceeds this inexcusable lateness is of Oscar-worthy proportions. He eats adult sized meals and still has formula bottles, I'm guessing it's not this one.

Don't give him a bottle during the night. It creates bad habits.

Well, this one is debatable because the screams being emitted from Nunu's voice box could likely alert our neighbours to the gross neglect going on in our home- and that's to appease the Milk King who demands bottles at will. Also, heaven help us if the temperature isn't to his exact preferences... So we give him that bottle so we can go back to sleep and function (debatable on 5 hours of sleep, but our bosses haven't picked it up yet that we are running solely on coffee and Lucozade) at work the next day.

Don't pick him up if he cries. Pat him on the bum until he drifts back off to sleep.

I don't know about you, but I can't even get to Nunu's rear end if he wakes up during the night. He's too busy being a bucking bronco and using his crib as a trampoline. He then smiles cutely at me, as if he is trying to soften the blow of me having to walk (limp, crawl, drag) myself into his room at midnight. It could also be my wild hair that makes him smile, as there certainly isn't time to blow dry that old bird's nest anymore. I then commit the unthinkable- I pick him up and bring him to our bed, so we can all pass out and get a good few hours in (and I mean 3 hours, before the bottle run).

Don't let him sleep in your bed.

Oops. He's lying here next to me right now. I failed this one a long time ago, when I passed out with Nunu next to me and realized that if he was next to me, I could tend to his needs immediately rather than traipsing around the house in winter. So he starts in his crib and then ends up in our bed. The cuddles and snuggles are totally worth it though.

Set a clear bedtime routine.

I couldn't be clearer if I tried. We bath, get into our pyjamas, read a book, have a bottle and then... well often then we have Nunu impersonating Tony Hawk and doing 360 degree flips in the bed while I try to hold him down with a vice-like grip. My routine is so strict it would impress an Olympic scoring committee, but it fails to impress my 10 month old.

Wean baby off his dummy (pacifier).

There isn't enough wine in the world for this one. When I'm fumbling to find that precious piece of plastic in the darkness of night (and despair), the last thought I'm having is to get rid of it. That thing works like a charm at silencing an unhappy (unhappy meaning screaming, thrashing legs and scaring the cats) baby. 

Be firm that nighttime is not playtime.

I try. I really do. But sometimes Nunu can be extremely creative and make anything a toy. Suddenly his dummy is the most interesting invention ever created, or our headboard texture feels better than the finest silks of China and he runs his hands over the wood repeatedly. How firm should I be? Should I be shopping on Wish for a baby-sized straight jacket? Not sure about this one... 

What has really been the best advice?

While I was still pregnant with Nunu, my mother advised me to never count the hours of sleep, as it would just add more stress to your life. I must admit, I have really taken this advice to heart. I know of some friends who calculate their sleeping hours and panic about the lack of zzz they have caught- I try to avoid falling into this trap as, let's be honest, it's never going to be a very high number!

Secondly, I read such an interesting blog entry which can be found at https://grubbymummyblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/13/accepting-the-reality-of-infant-and-toddler-sleep/

It highlights the fact that our parenting duties don't end as the sun goes down and unfortunately our baby is most probably going to need us during the night too.

Thirdly, buy yourself a Nespresso machine. What an absolute dream (and necessity) this little machine has become in my life. It really helps to take the edge off before I leave for work.

All in all, be easy on yourself and your baby. They are only little for so long and before you know it, they will be 13 and avoiding you/closing their bedroom door at night and not allowing you to tuck them in. Nunu has not mastered sleeping through the night yet, but he will get there eventually. So, for the moment, I'm going to enjoy his snug little body tucked up against mine and treasure the cuddles. Ok... he has finally drifted back to sleep. Hooray! Good night all. Wishing you lots of sleep and caffeine!