My husband, Mike, and I live in Singapore and have two children whom we adopted from Singapore. Madison is two years, 7 months old and Jack is 9 months old. Both Jack and Maddi are Singaporean Chinese and they were really young when they joined our family - Maddi was two weeks old and Jack was one day old.
Adoption was always something that we thought very highly of but was perhaps something that we would look to do once we had biological children first. However, when the “plan” to have biological children didn't happen due to multiple miscarriages, adoption became a very real option to us. It was definitely something that we had many fears and questions about but looking back we can’t believe we even had all those fears. We feared being able to love a child who wasn’t biologically ours and who I didn't give birth to. But as soon as our babies were put in our arms, the love we felt was indescribable.
Maddi was ten days old when we got the call from the agency (after only being on their waiting list for four days), and a few days later we met at the lawyers office and brought her home. That was a really incredible experience - having nothing and then in a few days being a family of three with a newborn!
We were matched with Jack’s birth mom when she was 31 weeks pregnant, so we had a little more time to prepare physically, emotionally and mentally. She gave birth to Jack at 39 weeks and we brought him home the very next day. We have closed adoptions for both Jack and Maddi, meaning that we have no contact with their birth parents and haven't met them.
Here in Singpapore, the majority of adoptions are closed and that is the option that we felt most comfortable with. However, we do have the birth parents details and pictures of them for a time when / if Jack and Maddi would want to pursue meeting them.
Adoption in Singapore works slightly differently to South Africa. We worked with a private adoption agency who walks alongside birth parents who are wanting to place their children for adoption due to varying reasons. The legal process and paperwork only begins once you have the baby or child in your care. The initial court date gives the MSF (Ministry of Social and Family development) permissions to begin their investigations of you. This involves scrutinising every aspect of your life. Once the MSF completes their report, then they submit it to the court. The court then will either rule in your favour or require more investigations. Maddi’s adoption took 9 months to be finalised and Jack’s took 5 months. Thereafter, we are issued with their new birth certificate which includes their new names and states us as their parents. At this point the adoption is completely finalised.
I look at these beautiful children we have the privilege of parenting and think that after all the years of heartache, something beautiful and precious came from it! Families come in all shapes and sizes and I'm proud of mine!